Beowulf

The Wrath of Grendel
The huge beast known as Grendel sat in his swamp and listened to his ipod shuffle. But over his shuffle he heard someone else's music. This angered him because the other music was praising God. So he went to the town and killed 30 people.

The Coming of Beowulf
Hrothgar sat in his chair on this Macbook Air, twittering about how Grendel had been killing people for 12 years, and he was sad. Beowulf read Hrothgar's twitter page through his iphone and thought to himself, "hm, its been 12 years I think I'm gonna go kill this thing when no one else has been able to, because I am a superhuman." So he gathered up 14 of his strongest men and sailed to Hrothgar's kingdom. But before he left, he put a sticky note on Higlac's Macbook Pro saying where he went and what he was going to do. When they got to there destination the Danish Watchman, who already knew that they were coming because of his 2009 sonar, questioned Beowulf. With a little time Beowulf convinced the watchman that he was a friend, there to slay the beast Grendel.

The Battle With Grendel
Beowulf laid out a plan to kill Grendel it was a fool proof plan (0r so he thought). He and his soldiers laid on the ground waiting for Grendel, to trap him in there plan. As Grendel approached the soldiers could here the music from his ipod shuffle but one of the soldiers wasn't fast enough and Grendel snatched him up, and killed him. When he went for Beowulf he was surprised because as he reached for him, Beowulf rose up and tore his arm off. And to make matters worse Beowulf broke Grendel's Ipod. Grendel ran away like the real coward he was to die a very slow death.

The Monsters Lair
Grendel's mother found out about her sons death by searching the enternet on her Dell laptop for funny animals. She saw that Beowulf had taken a picture of Grendel's newly detached arm and put captions under it saying "lol, the "great beast" called Grendel was no match for me! Beowulf! The superhuman!" She was furious with Beowulf and Hrothgar who had invited this man into his kingdom to kill her baby boy. She went to Hrothgar's kingdom and killed Hrothgar's closest friend. Scared, Hrothgar hired Beowulf to also kill Grendel's mother.

The Battle with Grendel's Mother
Beowulf had to leave his Iphone on shore with his soldiers because he didn't have a water proof cover for it, and since he didn't know how long he would be under the lake fighting Grendel's mother. He swam down to the bottom of the lake, which took him hours to do. But once at the bottom he saw Grendel's mother's lair and burst inside to find that there was no water inside that he could finally breath. He also found Grendel's mother bloging about how she was gonna put a stop to Beowulf once and for all. She looked up quickly from her computer and snarled, they began to fight. Grendel's mother, it seemed, was gaining the upper hand specially when Beowulf's sword broke. She stabed at Beowulf but his armor protected him. Then Beowulf suddenly saw a sword up on the wall and thought "hm, that is a big sword, it's kinda weird to just be hanging on the wall like that." He snatched it up and went after Grendel's mother who was thinking "CRAP! I knew i should have gotten rid of that stupid sword!" Beowulf finally chopped her in the neck and the battle was over. all of the people standing on the shore waiting for Beowulf to resurface gave up hope when they saw the waters turn red with Grendel's mothers blood for they thought it was Beowulf's, besides no one could hold their breath for that long not even a superhuman. One of the whitebeards stood on his segway and with sorrow in his heart rode away from the water. But as he left Beowulf resurfaced to the surprise of his men carrying the head of Grendel.

The Last Battle
So kinda tired and beat up Beowulf goes home and then 10 years later he is made king. For 50 long and happy years Beowulf ruled until he learned of a dragon that was creating some problems. So 80 something year old Beowulf decides that he is still strong enough to fight off the dragon but tells everyone goodbye just in case. Beowulf finds the dragon but all of his soldiers run away with there lasers that could have blinded the dragon, before the fight really begins. All except one, Wiglaf, who is Beowulf's young cousin , stayed to help his cousin and king fight the dragon. They fight the dragon and eventually Beowulf gets the glory of killing the dragon, Wiglaf takes a picture of the dead dragon with his brand new Digital Camera, but Beowulf is mortally wounded and asks Wiglaf to bring the dragons treasure to him.

The Spoils
Wiglaf hurries into the dragons lair because he knows that Beowulf probably isn't going to last much longer. He brings the spoils out to Beowulf and Beowulf, inturn, makes his cousin king before he dies and asks him to build him a tower called Beowulf tower.


The Farewell
Beowulf is dead and his people are sad as they build his tower. When they were finally done one of the soldiers hooked up a wireless suround sound system and carried the part that held the cd with mournful music on it with him as he and the other soldiers rode around Beowulf Tower.